Life in the UK after Brexit is going to be absolutely splendid
Sunday Morning Brief
Good morning, Quartz readers…
…and rejoice, people of Britain! The “sunlit uplands” beckon!
Following the country’s brave, momentous decision to leave the European Union, the brilliant post-Brexit future is beginning to come into view.
Manufacturing is humming. Retail sales are soaring. Property prices are rising to ever-dizzier heights. And the tortuous process to officially quit the EU has barely begun.
Look at how those thuggish eurocrats are treating poor Apple, forcing it to cough up billions in back taxes, despite its perfectly reasonable agreement with Ireland to pay as little as 0.005% tax on its European earnings. Free from the suffocating grip of Brussels, the UK can welcome the shell companies of the world with open arms to a lightly regulated offshore business hub. Why should companies settle for the British Virgin Islands—so hot this time of year—when they can squirrel away profits on the British island?
The more reasonably valued pound—down 10% against the dollar since the Brexit vote—is already encouraging a flurry of activity. The ultra-rich are buying more Swiss watches at London boutiques. Foreign conglomerates are snapping up Britain’s most innovative companies. The boost to exports will reduce the country’s large trade deficit. (Buy British!)
The cabinet held its first Brexit brainstorming session this week, a high-powered meeting of the government’s sharpest minds (and Boris Johnson). In due time, prime minister Theresa May will surely explain in great detail what she means by her oft-repeated mantra “Brexit means Brexit.” The newly formed Department for Exiting the European Union is already off to a flying start—it has a beloved Twitter presence and is definitely, probably, not holding its meetings at Starbucks anymore.
Ignore the haters—Britain has a glorious future outside of the EU. Yes, many of Brexit’s supporters said they hoped it would curb immigration and reverse globalization. It may be a shock, at first, when they realize many in May’s government actually have the opposite in mind. But they will come around when the country restores its status as a proud, open, and independent trading nation. Move over, Macau! Step aside, Singapore! Britain is open for business!
Sunday Morning Brief